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“A man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery…” - Ephesians 5:31-32

Modern culture would have you believe that everyone has a soul-mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that marriage does not mean 'til death do us part, but merely for as long as my needs are being met; and that when serious differences arise, divorce is the best solution.

It’s not uncommon that couples start to fight and make up…fight and make up, until one day they fall apart for good. Don’t neglect your relationship issues, you never know, your relationship could be treading towards rocky roads too!

You know things are not going well for you and your spouse. Your partner did seem stern, aloof and resentful that last time you spoke to each other. Like always you expect them to come around, let go of the steam and become their normal self with time. Instead, one day, you come home to find their clothes missing from their cupboards and a piece of paper on the dinner table- a divorce notice.

Do you think this scenario could transpire into your life? If yes, then you will have to drill yourselves through the following steps of ensuring a long-lasting marriage and relationship.


Your Thoughts: This mind is an intention thinking section within the human brain, and it can only accommodate one thought at a time. It refers to those decisions which you deliberately and consciously make. It conveys instructions and information through mental pictures to the subconscious mind. your thought is a process or pattern that creates your reality. The state of your marriage today is a reflection of the state of your thought. We are thinking beings that eventually takes thoughts into reality. The state of your Heart determines the state of your marriage. The form your life takes is the form of your thoughts. A man’s action is judged by the way he thinks. Every action you put out came from the seed of your thoughts either voluntary or involuntary actions. Don’t entertain unhealthy negative thoughts that are not good for your marriage. Remember evil thoughts do not go away on its own, they are sent away. It is a deliberate conscious act.

Sacrifice: in marriage, you need to understand each other expectations. The root cause of most divorces or bad marriages is the word “selfishness”. The spirit of getting and receiving needs to die. Expectations are so great that there is trouble when it is not achieved. The wife or husband of your dreams is different from the man or woman of your waking morning. For instance, the man you met and got married to could turn out to be a husband controlled by his mother or the sexy beautiful lady you met and could married to could turn out to have a different body shape after childbirth. Encouraging words is needed to let go of such expectations. Such words could be “and the world became flesh and dwelt in my house and stares into my eyes”. My gratitude for having met you in surpassed only by my amazement at the joy you bring to my life. “With a wife like you, I feel so blessed. “I will love you more and more each day with every beat of my heart, until the day I die and my heart stops beating.

Although, Love does not guarantee success in a relationship or marriage. It can’t help to stick to one person all the days of your life. It doesn’t guarantee you not falling in love with someone else. There is a difference between erotic feelings and Love. The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the same that keeps them. It takes little effort to fall in love but staying in love takes all effort. The love that keeps people together requires commitment, self-discipline, emotional stability, determination, efforts and patience.

Learn to speak right and positive words to your spouse. your marriage relationship started with good words. Marriage vows were made with good words and therefore you must keep and grow your marriage with good words. When you learn to talk, you will build an envy marriage. Mind the way you talk under stress, anger learn to exercise patience. Don’t speak the way you feel.

Things I need to do to help me speak right at all time.

Always remind yourself that wrong words could do a lot of damages and can set apart.

Learn to forgive your Spouse. Marriage is said to be a union of two forgivers. What precedes forgiveness is Grace. Forgiveness means release and it precedes Love (matt. 5:44). Unforgiveness is one of the greatest threats to marital bliss. It makes a marriage fail and brings division to the home. It also makes it difficult to calm the storm in your marriage. Don’t let the mistake of your Spouse define the rest of your life.

Expectation is the mother of disappointment. Men keep quiet because they are trying to manage the excesses of the women. Women are driven by emotions and needs a certain manager which is the man to control or manage them. Women are very intelligent than the men which are no match to them. We need to manage our expectations. Don’t let the knowledge of the weaknesses of your spouse make you despise him/her in public. Don’t be jealous of your wife’s successes because her greatness doesn’t reduce yours. And remember to always treat everyday like your Wedding day.

div Credit: Pst. Tunde Mabinuori

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